Guns are a commie pinko liberal conspiracy.
Conservatives (that is, right-thinking conservatives, and not the commie pinko scum neo-con RINO gunlovers who pretend to be conservatives) will favor the One True Weapon, which is of course the AXE, preferably one with a hand-forged steel blade.
Old-timers who prefer socketed bronze palstave axes should be respected for their advanced years, and of course women and fancy-boys of lighter frame will be better suited to the sword, but there is no killing tool more righteous than a high quality axe. Real Men (tm) use AXES.
Any weapon that leaves the hand is inherently evil. The slippery slope that eventually led us to the abomination of firearms began with the left-wing freaks who came up with arrows and javelins, and their seductive comparisons to the venerable pointed stick "now safer and longer range"!
From the seduction of the bow it was but small steps to weapons that require no training or skill, spew poison upon the land and air in every step of their manufacture and use, and that assault the very ears with their raucous inequity.
Eventually we end up with the Socialist Invention of so-called "Colonel" Colt, the "Great Equalizer". No more can the strong bring justice with bold swings of their mighty blades, no more can the poor farming communities bravely resist oppression with a forest of spears, for the limp-wristed rich men of guns will simply have their Pinkertons mow them down with a scythe of lead, smashing the blessings of private property and hard work with the politburo's iron fist of collectivism.
The axe is ever in the hand of the bold frontiersman, ever ready by the homesteader's fire, ready to serve the humble purpose of felling, building, or chopping, or the greater good of resisting slavery and injustice.
The gun is ever in the hand of the slavedriver, the overseer, and the prison guard; it seeks the blood of the free at the call of the idle rich man and the opressing overlord, and it kills with such promiscuity that no species can withstand it, not the passenger pigeon, buffalo, or wolf.
Guns and bombs will always be the tools of the oppressor, the enemies of freedom, and the means whereby the dissolute spawn of inherited power preserve the ill-gotten gains of their murderous forefathers. As the Little Red Book of Chairman Mao teaches the communists and their tools, "All power ultimately emanates from the barrel of a gun".
Originally written 2007-04-20 13:09:11 and posted to Userfriendly.Org
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